Every religion and ethnicity has its funeral customs and traditions. Although they may share the same objective of extending sympathy to the bereaved families, each of them has various practices according to their beliefs when it comes to saying farewell to a dearly departed.
It is important to understand and familiarize yourself with the proper etiquette if you are attending the funeral of someone whose religion or ethnicity is different from yours. This will help you prevent offending anyone with the same belief, especially the family. Here are some guides on religious and ethnic beliefs that you must observe when attending funerals.
Guides about Different Customs on Funerals
Funeral Customs by Religion
1. Roman Catholic Funeral
You can send decent floral arrangements to the funeral home or residence of the family. You can also give donations to the chosen charity in the name of the deceased. Following their funeral traditions, Catholics hold a vigil or wake before the funeral. Candles and flowers decorate the wake, funeral service, and burial ground. Relatives, friends, and colleagues can make a brief visit and spend a few moments in private prayer during the wake to extend their condolences to the family members of the departed. A funeral Mass (Requiem) is performed in a Catholic church by a priest according to funeral customs. Family and friends gather at the home of a close family member after the burial to share food and drinks.
2. Buddhist Funeral
White flowers are the traditional flower of mourning for Buddhists and may be sent to the family of the deceased. Do not send red flowers or gifts of food because they are considered poor funeral etiquette in their funeral customs. You can donate to the family or selected charity in the name of the departed. At the viewing, candles and incense burn until the body of the dead is transferred to the cemetery or crematorium. After greeting the family and offering their condolences, visitors must go to the casket and bow. They can choose to stay for a while or leave after the viewing. Visitors frequently make a financial donation to the family at the viewing. Based on funeral traditions, the funeral service is done by a monk at the funeral home. Guests bow slightly toward the open casket. The mourning family wears white while the friends usually wear black. Friends may call the home of the deceased’s family only after the funeral.
3. Jewish Funeral
Charitable donations are accepted memorial gifts but not flowers. According to funeral customs, the service is performed by a rabbi and the burial must be done within 24 hours of death. Funeral attire must be dark. Men wear a head covering called a yarmulke. The immediate family sits in mourning or Shiva inside their home for the next seven days after the burial based on their funeral customs. Family, friends, and coworkers of the deceased can visit the home and pay their respects to the family. This is called paying a Shiva call.
Funeral Customs by Ethnicity
1. Asian Funeral
In Asian funerals, white or yellow mums are acceptable. In China, Japan, and Korea, white chrysanthemums symbolize grief and lamentation. Yellow chrysanthemums are also considered traditional funeral flowers. In Chinese culture, the family wears white at the funeral with no jewelry. According to their funeral customs, red clothing is not appropriate because red is the color of happiness.
2. Hispanic Funeral
For Hispanic funeral traditions, the wake may include mariachis, overnight visitations, and a family feast. A simple bouquet can be given to the family. Other acceptable gifts include a tribute in the shape of a cross or a personalized candle and lighting a candle in the church. Funeral customs permit personal items and gifts to be placed inside the casket. Burial follows after the ceremony. The family usually gathers together after the burial to eat, recall, and comfort one another. Mexicans and Central Americans believe there are days when the departed come back to walk together with the living. They also believe that the bodies of their loved ones have died but their spirits live on. This is why they pray, talk, and turn to them for guidance and support.
3. Italian Funeral
Major funeral traditions are aligned with Catholic beliefs and practices. The funeral rituals include the last rites, prayer vigil, funeral liturgy, and Catholic Mass. Family or friends are selected as pallbearers. The family can choose to either say a few words or not about the deceased. Open casket funerals are common as it is customary for the Italians to kiss the deceased’s forehead or cheek at the funeral. The kiss is a sign of respect for the deceased. Mourners gather together at the site of the grave after the funeral Mass. They can walk toward the casket and throw a flower or a fistful of dirt on top. Interment is usually in a mausoleum as grave space is expensive in Italy, Flowers are important in Italian funeral customs. They are given to the family of the departed and placed in the casket and inside the church. For funerals, black is traditionally the color worn. Friends and neighbors take food to the family of the deceased once they hear the news. Traditionally, people bring casseroles, fruit, desserts, and wine which are not only eaten by the family but are also offered to guests.
ALSO READ: 40 Filipino Superstitions during Funerals and Wakes
Proper observance of funeral customs and traditions is essential to avoid offending people, especially the family of the deceased. Understanding the beliefs of others who do not have the same religion or ethnicity as you is a sign of respect. These guides can help you in showing good etiquette when attending a funeral.
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